FIRED

This has got to be one of the funniest
I've heard of in a long time. I think
this guy should have been promoted,
not fired. This is a true story from
the WordPerfect Helpline which was
transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department.

Needless to say, the Help Desk employee was fired, however he is
currently
suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause."

This is the actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support
employee (now I know why they record these
conversations):

Employee
"Rich Hall, Computer Assistance;
may I help you?"

Customer
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with
WordPerfect."

Employee
"What sort of trouble?"

Customer
"Well, I was just typing along, and
all of a sudden, the words went away."

Employee
"Went away?"

Customer
"They disappeared."

Employee
"Hmmm... So what does your screen
look like now?"

Customer
"Nothing."

Employee
"Nothing?"

Customer
"It's a blank; it won't accept
anything when I type."

Employee
"Are you still in WordPerfect,
or did you get out?"

Customer
"How do I tell?"

Employee
"Can you see the 'C:' prompt
on the screen?"

Customer
"What is a sea prompt?"

Employee
"Never mind, can you move your
cursor around the screen?"

Customer
"There isn't any cursor; I told you,
it won't accept anything I type."

Employee
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

Customer
"What's a monitor?"

Employee
"It's the thing with the screen on it
that looks like a TV. Does it have a
little light that tells you when it's on?"

Customer
"I don't know"

Employee
"Well, then look on the back of the
monitor and find where the power cord
goes into it.. Can you see that?"

Customer
"Yes, I think so."

Employee
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug,
and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

Customer
"Yes, it is."

Employee
"When you were behind the monitor,
did you notice that there were two
cables plugged into the back of it
or just one?"

Customer
"No."

Employee
"Well, there are. I need you to
look back there again and find the
other cable."

Customer
"Okay, here it is."

Employee
"Follow it for me, and tell me if
it's plugged securely into the back
of your computer."

Customer
"I can't reach."

Employee
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

Customer
"No."

Employee
"Even if you maybe put your knee on
something and lean way over?"

Customer
"Oh, it's not because I don't have
the right angle, it's because it's
dark."

Employee
"Dark?"

Customer
"Yes - the office light is off,
and the only light I have is
coming in from the window."

Employee
"Well, turn on the office light then."

Customer
"I can't."

Employee
"No? Why not?"

Customer
"Because there's a power failure."

Employee
"A power.......a power failure?
.... Aha, okay, we've got it licked
now. Do you still have the boxes
and manuals and the packing stuff
your computer came in?"

Customer
"Well, yes, I keep them in
the closet."

Employee
"Good.. Go get them, and unplug
your system and pack it up just
like it was when you got it. Then
take it back to the store you
bought it from".

Customer
"Really? Is it that bad?"

Employee
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Customer
"Well, all right then,
I suppose. What do I tell them?"

Employee
"Tell them you're too stupid
to own a computer."