Man Vs. Wife

WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted
to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats,
and
pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied,
In-laws."

WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a
day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has
to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid
and so beautiful all at the same time.
" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful
so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!


WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the
coffee
each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then
we don't have to wait as
long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you
should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my
coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible
that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at
the top of several pages, that it indeed says.......... "HEBREWS"
THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving
each
other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next
day,
he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an
early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the
silence (and LOSE), he
wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake m e
at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and
he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his
wife
hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft
before the masterpiece.